On January 29, 2025, Sarah and I were going through our usual routine as her plane prepared to take off: I had made her a late dinner after a long flight, we were going to finish the daily New York Times crossword puzzle as soon as she got back, we were texting funny remarks about the flight, and we ended with “I LOVE YOUUUUU.”  Those were the last words we ever exchanged.  I knew something was wrong as soon as the plane was due in, because we always hover over the status of each other’s flights, and we always text each other as soon as we have landed.  After frantically searching the web for updates, I saw an online posting of the collision, I raced to the airport, and after 4 hours of anguished waiting, we were given confirmation that there were no survivors. And as we all collapsed in shock and despair, only one thought was churning through my head over and over as I reached out to tell our friends and families: what life is now left for me without Sarah?

My wife was an extraordinary woman, a unique combination of critical thinking, photographic memory, artistic creativity, dedication to any project or task she set herself, and empathy for anyone marginalized or disadvantaged.  With her talents she could have been running a Fortune 500 company by now; instead, after graduating from Vanderbilt University, she joined the “Teach for America” program, and she stayed not for the usual 1 or 2 years, but for 5.  As a teacher in some of the toughest public high schools in Memphis and Nashville, she worked tirelessly to connect with and give hope to her most troubled and resistant students.  As a law student she worked to unite the minority affinity groups to demand equal protections for all.  As a clerk she worked to ensure fair treatment for all defendants, and she chose a law firm that would allow her to take her pro bono cases seriously.  And throughout her daily mission to make the world a better place, she never lost sight of her family and friends, with whom she could relieve herself of her pressures and responsibilities, fall into our arms and talk quietly about life, watch silly Instagram videos, cuddle with our dog Kerby, or just nap peacefully in her comfiest sweats.

Sarah was my partner, my confidant, and my best friend.  When we realized how much we had in common, it gave us a new lease on life, a spark that filled every day with joy for what we had found, and with excitement for what was to come.  She looked up to me in some ways, and I looked up to her in others, especially in how she remembered and acted on details of anyone’s likes and dislikes, how she helped anyone who asked with not just compassion but tailored suggestions and concrete action, how she went out of her way to include those who were more quiet or shy in any social interaction, and how she made others comfortable by making herself vulnerable first.  She was always stretched in so many different directions, and yet she always made time for her sisters, her parents, her closest friends, and her husband.  Our similarities and differences made us perfectly complementary, which is why we remained intentional in our relationship, making sure to reaffirm our love for one another in words, gestures, and hand-written cards consistently and happily for ten full years together. 

I am devastated and angry that Sarah was killed at the age of 33, when after so many years of preparation she was finally settling down into a permanent job and life in Washington DC, and she had so much left to give and to receive.  But I am grateful that I was given so much time to share my life with a woman who is beyond my wildest dreams, and for at least a few months we got to experience together what this new DC life together would have been like. 

Sarah was the light of my life.  But I think the whole world is now a little darker without her.

Sarah’s firm, Wilkinson Stekloff, has endowed a full scholarship in honor of Sarah and of Elizabeth Keys, who also lost her life on this flight; it will support law students at Penn Law and Georgetown Law who need financial aid and are interested in public service. 

Donations can be made at this link.